Dr. Marsden Wagner on Progressive Parenting Today

Dr.Marsden Wagner will be our very special guest today on Progressive Parenting. We will be discussing the safety of home birth. He spent 15 years Director, Women's and Children's Health, World Health Organization (responsible for Women's and Children's Health in 45 industrialized countries). He's been in many documentaries including, PREGNANT IN AMERICA, THE BUSINESS OF BEING BORN, and ORGASMIC BIRTH. He's also the author of BORN IN THE USA:How a Broken Maternity System Must Be Fixed to Put Women and Children First. I am so excited to have him on the show as he is an inspiration to myself and so many other mother and baby advocates. Tune at 1 pm Thursday March 26th on 88.1 KFCF. Call in with questions at 559-266-8888 or e mail us at progressiveparenting@kfpt.org

Photo Courtesy of Marsden Wagner

Aspartame, What You Don't Know Could Harm Your Children

A few years ago I came across a very interesting movie entitled SWEET MISERY. It was about the dangers of Aspartame. Aspartame is a non caloric sweetener used in many diet soft drinks and food preparations. you know it better as Sweet N Low or Equal. Because it was approved by the FDA we all assume there is nothing dangerous about it.

Recently I've come across some information that has given me serious pause about this chemical that's in so much of what our children consume. On next Thursday's show we will be discussing the dangers of Aspartame and Fluoridated water. These are topics you may otherwise not hear about on other media venues, if you have information or related stories please call into the show. The number to the station is 559-266-8888 call with questions, comments or suggestions.

I've included some videos to give you an idea about aspartame and why we are devoting a show to it. Please watch this video if you know people who consume aspertame daily, think Nutra Sweet, Equal, Sweet n Low, Diet ANYTHING, sugar free gum etc...

Natural Weaning

Lately I've been getting a lot of phone calls and e mails about weaning. According to Norma Jane Bumgarner, author of MOTHERING YOUR NURSING TODDLER, "Every Natural weaning is unique so that it is impossible to guarantee anything about it except that it will happen." Natural weaning occurs on the child's schedule. In his or her own time she decides that it's not absolutely essential to her well being. When it comes early it can be hard on moms. Even if it comes after two years it can be difficult. My oldest stopped at 2 1/2 years old. My youngest also stopped at 2 1/2.
Be aware that you will go through a period of mild depression after a child abruptly stops nursing.

Two hormones, prolactin and oxytocin, play a huge role in breastfeeding. When baby begins the strong sucking action at the breast, this contacts the nerves in your nipples. Impulses from these nerves travel to the pituitary, the master glad in the brain, by way of the hypothalamus, which is near the pleasure center of the brain. Nature intends mothers to enjoy breastfeeding their babies. When baby decides to stop nursing abruptly you will experience a sharp drop in prolactin, which can cause you to feel blue. It turns out I was a prolactin junkie and was very down after my youngest quit abruptly. My friend who is a lactation counselor asked if my daughter had stopped nursing, I was surprised and asked how she knew. She said I had been very depressed lately and she was guessing that could be a reason. Don't be alarmed however, it's easy to work through this if you understand why you are feeling blue. It's also difficult to let go of that special bonding time and that can add to feelings of depression. Be sure to seek out a support group or just talk about it with a lactation counselor. It's always reassuring to know you are not alone.

Now if you are considering leading the weaning, think over all possible alternatives.Perhaps there are some compromises that could be made in order to allow the baby to nurse at least twice a day. Stop and think about whether weaning your baby will really improve matters. It's easy to forget that nursing makes being a mom easier not harder. According to La Leche League International's book, THE WOMANLY ART OF BREASTFEEDING, " Remember that illness and, medications, surgery, or returning to work do not necessarily mean you must wean before you and your baby are ready."

If you can, take your time weaning. Dr. William Sears says, "A wise baby who enjoys a happy nursing relationship is not likely to give it up willingly unless some other form of emotional nourishment is provided which is equally attractive or at least interestingly different." Basically, if you want to wean substitute other kinds of loving care for nursing. Cut one nursing at a time, distract your nurser with a glass of water or juice, or a story or a walk around the block at about the time you would normally nurse. Wait a couple of days to let this arrangement work itself out and to be easy on your breasts, and then go ahead and try and wean out another nursing time. Try not to rush it. It's a big change for the two of you. It doesn't have to be an all or nothing thing. If baby reacts strongly to not being nursed at nap or night time, you might decide to let your little one continue nursing only at those times. Eventually nursing ends and once it's gone it's gone, Enjoy the precious time now and remember there is no wrong or right way, only your way. I encourage you to talk to a local support group for more information or contact a lactation counselor. Email me for information on where to find resources locally at mommymattersonline@sbcglobal,net

Home Birth Number Two!

My last home birth was three years ago, my daughter was born very quickly, from the time I realized I was in labor and had her it was about 1 1/2 hours. In fact, our midwife didn't make it on time and our Doula ended up catching. It was beautiful just the same. No fuss, no complications.
We were ready this time, or so we thought. My contractions started 9 weeks ago and were very painful. After I got the green light at 36 weeks from my midwife, we thought for sure the baby would come any day. We had a lot of false alarms. My first baby was born at 36 and our second at 37, so we thought for sure this baby would be early too. My poor midwife must have come over 7 or 8 times and set up the pool.
Thankfully, my water broke yesterday at 5:30 we had the pool set up by 8:30 and 59 minutes later the baby was born. We had a baby girl in a birthing pool in our living room surrounded by friends and family. My mom grandma and aunt some others I wish could have been there, but I've learned birth is not something we can plan or control.
I am happy that my husband was with me the entire time and I had the assistance of not one but two doulas. During contractions my husband kissed me and kept me focused. I was surrounded by voices of encouragement. I felt safe enough to make all the noise I needed to. My five year old daughter was present and saw her baby sister come into the world. What a blessing, natural/normal childbirth is not strange to her, but all she knows. Our baby girl was born at 9:29pm, she weighed 7 lbs 5 oz and was 20 inches long. She has dark brown hair like her mom and blond eyebrows like her dad! She nurses like a champ and is quiet and calm. Ava is SUCH a great big sister and Uma loves our new addition, but doesn't like it when Ava touches or kisses the baby.
Having the baby at home has been glorious. I am in my home, no one told my husband he couldn't spend the night with me and I get to eat whatever I want! In fact during my labor my husband was hand feeding me berries. This morning I had breakfast in bed, eggs over easy, potatoes and sliced avocado with Odwalla Tangerine Juice. Beat that Any Hospital. I'm not opposed to hospital births, but for me, my home birth was exactly what 'the doctor ordered. The only germs my little one is exposed to are the ones in my home that my breast milk has antibodies already made for. She and I both have been checked on by my midwife and since she lives a few minutes away, I feel good about our safety and know help is a phone call and short drive away.
I'm especially grateful that this home birth allowed us to stay home. Three years ago less than 18 hours after the birth of our second child, we were racing to Valley Children s Hospital. Uma was becoming dusky in color and there we found not only was she producing too many red blood cells, but she also had Downs Syndrome. We spent 10 long days there, I do not wish recovery in the NICU for any mom. So I am particularly grateful that we are comfortably at home with a healthy baby.
Home birth is not for everyone, but if you are on the fence concerning this topic, all I can say is it is a safe alternative to hospital births, and quite beautiful, convenient and private. For more information regarding home birth call me at 559-930-2032 or listen to our show tomorrow afternoon at 1pm on KFPT 88.1 FM.

Breastfeeding On Sesame Street

Thanks for all the comments, and thanks to Tracy who shared this cute clip.

Mr. Rogers and Breastfeeding!

I consider myself a lactavist and was surprised to see that Mr. Rogers was too. I don't remember catching this one as a kid. I really do remember episodes, like the one where football player Lynn Swan takes ballet! But I digress, it's too bad that you will not see anything like this on Sesame Street or Noggin. I watched this with my almost six year old and she just kept saying "Awwww". Thanks Mr. Rogers, you are missed.

These are a few of my favorite things

Everyone has been so kind, asking me what I need, or if I would like anything. I am hesitant to say because I am not accustomed to asking. However, my advice to other moms would be, :don't be lame, if someone wants to help you, far be it for you to stop them." So here goes: I have made three lists, stuff we need and stuff I'd Like and stuff baby still needs.

Stuff we need:
Fruit: bananas (mostly for Uma)
Juice: Birthing Power for Me I like Odwalla
Arborio Rice: I like Risotto can't make it without AR
Teething Biscuits: The Barley Kind from Whole Pay Check (Whole Foods) for UMA they buy me time I need to take showers.
Soy Milk Choc Pudding: They keep Ava happy, think AVA SCOOBY SNACK
Water: Distilled

Stuff I'd Like:
G.C. to Origins or Aveda: I'm out of my shampoo and my moisturizer and face scrub and am broke
G.C. to Anthropolgie: There is a candle there that I love and THINK I want to smell during labor sweet vanilla and cinnamon
G.C. to Outback: I THINK I want my post labor meal to be their LAMB dinner rare, so when I reheat it it's MED RARE mmmm...

(My Favorite Treats: Frozen Chocolate Bananas, Caramel Apples, Chili Cheese Dogs, Horchata, Sonic Cherry Lemon Lime Drink, Sonic Onion Rings, A large cup of ice, Iced Caramel Macchiato, Tacos Asadas from Tacos Guanajuato on McKinley and Fruit, Pork Masamun from Thaiphoon on Olive, French Fries from the Peach Pit on Olive, Ben and Jerry's Phish Food, Twice Baked Potatoes, Boston Market Sweet Potatoes and Chicken, Ceviche, Orange Dream Machine Jamba Juice and Dairy Free Blintzes from Trader Joes.)

Stuff Baby Still Needs:

Size One 7th Generation Diapers and Wipes: Whole Pay Check
Baby Hats and Metro Mama Wrap
Aden and Anais Swaddle Blankets They are made out of Muslin

Well, there it is, thanks in advance for all your support and love. I LOVE YOU TOO!

Making Informed Choices When Pregnant and Giving Birth

Making Informed Choices When Pregnant and Giving Birth

Being pregnant is an exciting time in a woman’s life. Whether it’s your first or third, it brings anticipation, joy, and sometimes fear. As a Doula and childbirth educator I am constantly surrounded by pregnant women, many of their stories are the same and some are quite different. What they all have in common is that they want the best for their babies. Nothing compares to the privilege of giving life and the responsibility of that, nothing. With that being said, it is surprising to find that most women believe they have few options when it comes to birth. Very few women know what their choices are, and fewer are aware of what their rights are.

I was telling a friend of mine who teaches prenatal yoga, that I was going to pen an article about Informed Consent. She recommended I refer to it as Informed Choice. I quite agree. Before I talk about choice I want you to know what the AMA says about Informed Consent. According to the American Medical Association Informed Consent “is more than simply getting a patient to sign a written consent form. It is a process of communication between a patient and physician that results in the patient's authorization or agreement to undergo a specific medical intervention.
In the communications process, you, as the physician providing or performing the treatment and/or procedure (not a delegated representative), should disclose and discuss with your patient:
• The patient's diagnosis, if known;
• The nature and purpose of a proposed treatment or procedure;
• The risks and benefits of a proposed treatment or procedure;
• Alternatives (regardless of their cost or the extent to which the treatment options are covered by health insurance);
• The risks and benefits of the alternative treatment or procedure; and
• The risks and benefits of not receiving or undergoing a treatment or procedure.
In turn, your patient should have an opportunity to ask questions to elicit a better understanding of the treatment or procedure, so that he or she can make an informed decision to proceed or to refuse a particular course of medical intervention.
This communications process or a variation thereof, is both an ethical obligation and a legal requirement spelled out in statutes and case law in all 50 states.”

So, calling it informed choice works best for me because when you as a patient are given all of the information you need you are not consenting to something you are making a choice. Many new moms shrink from questioning their doctor when it comes to birth, however, upon asking these same women if they would question (and question some more) their doctor if they were diagnosed with a serious illness, or told they needed an operation, and the answer was always yes. So why treat your pregnancy or your birth any differently? Your baby is counting on you for food, shelter, love and advocacy. No one loves your baby more than you do, so speak up for your baby. Ask questions; don’t be afraid to ask about alternatives, to question procedures, or ask for/about alternatives. Your doctor is aware of informed consent and what the AMA says about it, so they won’t be caught off guard by your advocacy for your baby.
Taking an independently taught childbirth education class like Lamaze or the Bradley Method to find out more about birth can make all the difference. The more you know ahead of time the less stress you and your partner are likely to experience on the big day.
Birth day can be a profoundly empowering experience or it can be a scary and scarring, both literally and figuratively, experience. It doesn’t have to be a frightening experience, knowing what your choices are throughout your pregnancy and birth experience can make a difference. For more information on The Rights of Childbearing Women go to www.childbirthconnection.org. For information locally go to www.childbirthresourcenetwork.org

Positive Discipline, or my "Ah Ha" Parenting Moment

With our first child my husband and I had decided we weren't going to spank. He had vague memories of spanking and they were not fond ones. My memories were vivid and I certainly did not want to hit my children. There have been many a moment where I have thought for a second about breaking my vow, but have stuck by it. "But how can you discipline, if you don't hit?", a friend asked a while back.
Well, that's hard to explain to other parents who come from the point of view that says, 'I was spanked and I came out okay.' But I'll try anyway, Lysa Parker, co-founder of Attachment Parenting International described it once on the show this way; 'discipline comes from the word disciple, children should learn by example and not by corporal punishment.' I should be teaching my children, not hitting them. But how? *
Well, I think I've tried everything. Then I watched an episode of the Supper Nanny and thought, "This is it!" My husband and I fell in love with the naughty pillow/step/chair/whatever. We loved that it allowed us to be in control without resorting to violence. However, there was a part of me that felt somehow, I could do things differently.
I recently read a great article by Debra Carlson in Mothering Magazine in the July*August 2008 issue, called time in. She asks the same question, "but what was I really teaching them? I was teaching my sons that, when strong emotions erupted into hurtful behavior, there was one"good" boy and one "bad" boy. I was teaching them that, just at the moment they felt least in control-because they had suddenly become "victim" and "aggressor"-

This blew me away and I was further intrigued by a recent interview with Dayna Martin Radical Unschooler, on my radio show. She brought up trust a lot. Trusting your kids to make good decisions when you treat them with respect and allow them the freedom to discover who they are. Wow, freedom, respect...almost every book and magazine article out there is telling us how to discipline, punish, mold, train our kids. These concepts, although not foreign to me were certainly foreign in the way I'd been parenting till now. This is no easy thing to admit, but I think it's one of the first steps I need to take in order to give my girls freedom and respect.

She said that for her punishing her children was as ridiculous to her as punishing her husband. Treating her children with the same respect and courtesy as her husband? Could I do this? Why wasn't I already doing this? Why does a part of me think this is crazy while the other part of me is sitting up and going "OH!"?
So, I actually proposed to my 5 year old (going on 15) that I was no longer going to institute the 5 minute time in. She said "What happens if I do something really bad? Then I'll get a time in right?" Just the fact that she asked that really made me think that this was going to work after all. Had I 'trained' my innocent-just-been-here-on-the-planet-5-years now child that she needed to be punished? I let her know that, no, we would talk instead about what happened and try to resolve our issues like daddy and I do. She looked puzzled, and then slowly a look of gratitude came over her and she came up to me and hugged my very round 9 months pregnant belly, kissed it and ran off to her room to play. I'll keep you posted on our progress.

Wish me luck!

(For more on API's stance on positive discipline go to www.attachmentparenting.org)

Child Birth Education in Fresno revised...

So what's the big deal about taking classes from an independent source? Independent instructors are not paid by the doctors office or the hospital. So they are not influenced in their teaching. If a Child Birth Educator works at a hospital where it is their policy to have continuous fetal heart monitoring there is little chance that in that class you will be told the cons of that policy. Independent instructors hands are not tied when it comes to letting you know what your rights and choices are when you are in labor at the hospital.

The tendency at hospital and Dr.'s offices classes is to let you know what to expect from them. An independent instructor is more inclined to let you know what to expect and what your choices are when you are confronted by the things you can expect to happen in labor, so you can make informed choices. You are not likely to hear about the many dangers involved with (for example) getting an epidural (there are many). Most physicians and hospital instructors are not likely to explain these to women, so as not to scare them. As sweet as that may be, it is not informed consent which is every mom/new parents right. Your baby is counting on you for love, nourishment, shelter and advocacy. No one loves or could love your baby like you do. You owe it to yourself and your baby to learn as much as you can, from the right sources.

A report issued in October states that the US maternity-care system continues to rely on costly practices that endanger birthing women and their new born children.
The report, Evidence-Based Maternity Care by Carol Sakala and Maureen P.Corry (Milbank Memorial Fund, 2008), charges that ineffective and/or risky practices such as drugs, treatments, tests, monitoring, and surgeries are alarmingly overused, while the following proven, cost-effective, low-intervention practices are widely underused:
*continuous support through labor (such as provided by a Doula)
*measures that increase comfort and facilitate labor
*upright and side-lying birthing positions
*delayed clamping of umbilical cord
*early skin-to-skin contact between baby and mother
*when possible access to vaginal birth after cesarean (more than nine in ten women with previous cesareans now have repeat cesareans.

Doctor's fear of litigation and the financial incentives of costlier procedures, rather than medical necessity, are listed as reasons that less-intensive care is not provided more often.

The report issues recommendations to rectify the gaps between the procedures research dictates are best and those that are actually used.

Read the full report and get more info at:
www.childbirthconnection.org/article.asp?ck=10575

In Fresno you can take Independent Childbirth Education Courses from Bradley, Lamaze and ALACE, and Birthing From Within. For a list of Instructors and more info please email me at mommymattersonline@sbcglobal.net

Homeschooling Hits a High, a timely topic, tune in to 88.1 this Thursday for more Info...

More kids are learning at home according to the US Department of Education's Center for Education Statistics, 1.5 million children were homeschooled in 2007-an increase of 74 percent from 1999.
We will talk more about this topic on Progressive Parenting this Thursday at 1pm on 88.1 FM KFCF the Valley's Frees Speech Radio. Tune in and call with questions or comments. Our email is progressiveparenting@kfcf.org. Call us at the station with questions or suggestions 559-266-8888.
Here is Dayna Martin with more on last weeks topic: Unschooling...

Lactivists stage nurse-in on Facebook,

Back in Dec of '08 11,500 Facebook Subscribers replaced their Profile photographs with images of breastfeeding, in opposition to Facebook's removal of breastfeeding photographs from users accounts. The group formed in June of 2007 in response to Facebook's claim that photographs of breastfeeding violate Facebook's terms of use by displaying nudity and posing danger to children who use the site

December 27, 2008 saw the first ever Facebook virtual nurse-in, with 11,700 users protesting against Facebook’s removal of breastfeeding photos and the closing down of mother’s accounts. 11,700 photos of breastfeeding women went up with 11,700 corresponding statuses pronouncing "Hey Facebook, Breastfeeding is not obscene."

The group of the same name saw their membership rise by a staggering 17,000 in the weeks leading up to the nurse-in to reach 79,000 (the group now has @ 209,957 members). The virtual nurse-in was accompanied by an in-person nurse-in at the Californian Offices of Facebook.

Nurse-in Round Two

Unfortunately Saturday, February 21 was scheduled for the next virtual nurse-in, with Facebook users again being asked to post a breastfeeding image to their profile and to have the words "Hey Facebook, breastfeeding is NOT obscene" in their status for that day.

So since/if you missed it:

A letter campaign is running in conjunction with the virtual nurse in. The Hey Facebook...group has a list of points to consider to include in your letter to Facebook. The points include:

* Women breastfeeding, with or without much breast exposure, are not performing a sexual act. Their breasts and parts of them are not classified as sex organs.

* Facebook's deletion of many breastfeeding photos stigmatizes breastfeeding. Its description of some ways of doing it as obscene is wrong and demeans and insults women.

* Breastfeeding is not inherently a private or intimate activity. Almost all American states have passed laws promoting breastfeeding and allowing it in public in the manner a woman chooses (as do most industrialized countries around the world).

* Women post breastfeeding photos because others want to see their children doing things that are healthy and important, such as eating.

* Women post breastfeeding photos because breastfeeding is a normal part of their day and what they do as mothers.

(A full list of points and more information on the letter writing campaign can be found at the MILC event information page on Facebook.)

They are asking that letters arrive from around the world, not just the United States and should be posted to:

Attn: Sheryl Sandberg
Chief Operating Officer
Facebook
156 University Ave.
Palo Alto, CA 94301-1605

Or faxed to 650-543-4801

Ensure your friends, relatives, work colleagues and neighbours know about the letter writing campaign and understand how to participate.

How can Face book be on the cutting edge of social networking if it remains in the dark ages? Propagating erroneous beliefs about breastfeeding and acting inappropriately as the moral police, is pretty square and not at all hip and new or young. Breastfeeding women now have to take the same fight into a new and untested public domain. Don't complain to each other...do something, today!

see also: www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/12/31/business/main4693214.shtml
www.chicagotribune.com/features/health/chi-talk-breastfeedingdec31,0,922482.story

Notes: All info for this blog was taken from Mothering Magazine March-April 2009 issue and type-a mom article by jodi cleghorn

Just passing along vital info...