Things have been crazy in the Kirby household as of late. My husband, bless him, has totaled the family car in an accident and we, for reasons beyond our control, are losing our store. Craig has since recovered from his injuries but doctors say he will never hear the end of it from his wife.

At first the idea of losing the store was devastating, but now that I've been convinced that it's the best thing for us, it doesn't seem so awful. The economy is obviously not getting better and it just makes sense to stop while we can and try to open again in the future. Still I think I'm going to miss the interaction with clients on a day-to-day-basis.

We will hopefully have our site fully functional by mid November. Stick with us and keep in touch. Like I've been saying to myself, I'm not going out of business, I'm just closing the store.

Time-In, Positive Discipline

With our first child my husband and I had decided we weren't going to spank. He had vague memories of spanking and they were not fond ones. My memories were vivid and I certainly did not want to hit my children. There have been many a moment where I have thought for a second about breaking my vow, but have stuck by it. "But how can you discipline, if you don't hit?", a friend asked a while back.
Well, that's hard to explain to other parents who come from the point of view that says, 'I was spanked and I came out okay.' But I'll try anyway, here goes, discipline comes from the word disciple, children should learn by example and not by corporal punishment. I should be teaching my children, not hitting them. But how?
Well, I think I've tried everything. Then I watched an episode of the Supper Nanny and thought, "This is it!" My husband and I fell in love with the naughty pillow/step/chair/whatever. We loved that it allowed us to be in control without resorting to violence. However, there was a part of me that felt somehow, I could do things differently.
I recently read a great article by Debra Carlson in Mothering Magazine in the July*August 2008 issue, called time in. She asks the same question, "but what was I really teaching them? I was teaching my sons that, when strong emotions erupted into hurtful behavior, there was one"good" boy and one "bad" boy. I was teaching them that, just at the moment they felt least in control-because they had suddenly become "victim" and "aggressor"-
This blew me away and I was further intrigued by a recent interview with Dayna Martin Radical Unschooler, on my radio show. She brought up trust a lot. Trusting your kids to make good decisions when you treat them with respect and allow them the freedom to discover who they are.
She said that for her punishing her children was as ridiculous to her as punishing her husband. Treating her children with the same respect and courtesy as her husband? Could I do this? Why wasn't I already doing this? Why does a part of me think this is crazy while the other part of me is sitting up and going "OH!"?
So, I actually proposed to my 5 year old (going on 15) that I was no longer going to institute the 5 minute time in. She said "What happens if I do something really bad? Then I'll get a time in right?" Just the fact that she asked that really made me think that this was going to work after all. Had I 'trained' my innocent-just-been-here-on-the-planet-5-years now child that she needed to be punished? I let her know that, no, we would talk instead about what happened and try to resolve our issues like daddy and I do. She looked puzzled, and then slowly a look of gratitude came over her and she came up to me and hugged my very round 9 months pregnant belly, kissed it and ran off to her room to play. I'll keep you posted on our progress. Wish me luck!

Orgasmic Birth

Can you really have a pleasant birth? Is it possible to have a baby and be happy about it? This movie says yes. And Mommy Matters will be bringing a special private screening to FRESNO! Check our calendar in November for screening dates. We will be showing Orgasmic Birth at the Dominion Courtyard Villas on Shepherd and Cedar at the Club House, in their beautiful Movie Screening room with reclining leather loungers and surround sound. Buy your tickets early and save. Advance Tickets $10 day of, $15 at the door. A portion of proceeds goes to CRN Childbirth Resource Network.


Call 930-2032 for more info

CHOOSY MOMS CHOOSE CHOICE!

I think that if all of us moms got together we'd be able to accomplish whatever we put our minds to. Washington is going to find out this year just how many moms vote. If you need some help keeping up with issues that pertain to us, our children, and our families here's a great site that will help. Every mom I knows says they are mom first, whether they are governors or doctors. So we are moms before we are Republicans or Democrats. Let me know if you like this site and if you find it helpful.

http://momsrising.org/

Fresno Doulas

News Flash, Fresno has Doulas!. At a birth a few months ago a Doula friend of mine met a labor and delivery, nurse at Clovis Community. This nurse used to a midwife and moved here from Portland. She was surprised to find out that Fresno has Doulas. I thought wow, if L and D nurses don't know about us, how can anyone else?
Dr. Ostoya (O.B.) revealed Sunday evening at the Talk Back, (after BIRTH the play at the Tower Theater) that after 12 years as an obstetrician in Fresno he has only worked with three Doulas! What! Unbelievable. Another doctor in attendance, Dr. J. Thomas said that although his experience with Doulas was positive, it was limited.
Any ideas as to how we can let more women know about the importance of Doulas in birth? Why is it such a secret? Just thought I'd put that out there?